🖤 Thank you so much to everyone who's stayed loyal to me, an..
🕑 Added 2022-11-26 06:36:11 +0000 UTC
🖤 Thank you so much to everyone who's stayed loyal to me, and anyone who's come back! 🖤 Switch to @nyxii to see all my content & read below if want to understand the situation I've been in with my health and all of this better
You guys are seriously the main reason I was able to survive the last few years. And what still trickles in here is my only income, it has been for years. As some of you might know I'm chronically ill, both physically and mentally. Multiple illnesses are chronic pain disorders, including Fibromyalgia which have taken away my ability to do pretty much anything at this point. When I started sex work I was still much more able bodied than I've become the last 2 years, although I was already mostly bed ridden by 2018. My health has taken a turn for the worse repetitively in so many different areas over the years, at this point I'm honestly not sure if I'll ever be able to create real content again.
There were so many great unique set ideas, costumes and toys I collected for better days, that never came and I've never been able to use for you guys, and it honestly breaks my heart because it would have been my best work and you all deserved to see it. I'm sorry to anyone I've let down in any way. I'm sorry for anything I haven't been able to follow through on, or messages I didn't open because I didn't know how to say I'm only getting worse, I'm embarrassed, and probably never going to reach remission, at least not with current treatment options available to me. (There's a lot that aren't FDA approved so insurance won't cover them and they range from $2,000-$100,000+ a treatment most requiring many. So very out of my reach sadly)
I was planning on letting my account go inactive by the end of this year, and cutting ties with sex work completely forever due to the effects it's had on my mental health over the years. There's been a lot of good that came from this, and you guys mean the world to me. However this kind of work takes a toll on anyone, especially if they're relying on it to survive and especially if they're chronically ill/disabled. Behind the scenes were a lot of injuries, and mental break downs, every photo set, every video left me needing to heal my body and mind. I held myself to unrealistic standards trying to compete with my able bodied peers on here and really pushed myself past my limits and breaking point. That added stress caused my illnesses to progress, and I reached a level of extreme burnout over 2 years ago I to this day have not been able to recover from. Although I've always fantasized about a big come back. It just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me.
I'm telling you guys this not because I want pity or anything, but because I want to be completely honest with you. I know it's not sexy to be sick, chronic illnesses is far from hot. But if you're still here I want you to understand you've been my lifeboat. I understand if you're bored with the old content or can't afford to continue supporting me. But if you if you can, please know I see you, and I appreciate you more than I can express with words.
By posting this my account will remain active for at least 90 more days. It was set to throw everyone off by the end of the year, but I just don't know how to burn the only bridge I have to the basic life essentials I need every month. So until further notice my account will stay up, and I'll be even more grateful than ever to anyone who continues to support me.
I can't offer much in return for donations, but if anyone would like to help me by tipping. I'll try to figure out some ways to treat you this holiday season, and I'll be so absolutely forever grateful to you for your kindness.
Thank you if you read this. I'm sorry if you were just on here horny and trying to jerk off and I totally killed the vibe 😅
