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Submissive does not equal subservient. Playing with power i..
🕑 Added 2022-05-07 00:30:11 +0000 UTC Submissive does not equal subservient. Playing with power is an immense privilege. It’s a conscious invitation from someone’s nervous system that says “I trust you mean well for me.” What a rare sentiment (at least in my world) One of my favourite qualities of myself is my ability to kneel without ego. If I truly believe in something or someone, my body decides for me to give up my desire for control. And then it’s up to my brain if I decide to engage with that opportunity. This strength has also been a downfall: I have given too much of myself to power’s that don’t honour mine. I have abandoned myself in pursuit of supporting something larger than me. I have made myself small to create space for someone else to be big. I have accepted abuse in search of approval. NONE of this has anything to do with also being a masochist NONE of this is because of a specific gender NONE of this is because I like bl00d MOST of this has nothing to do with s*x Most times my submissive tendencies have shown themselves anywhere BUT the bedroom (because I have to really REALLY trust you to kneel n@ked). Most of my power dynamics have been platonic or professional. Most of the abuse has been from friends or family. Most of the time it has all been subconscious or unconsc|ous. This is why I prefer playing and socializing with people that know how to negotiate vi0lence. It is a very finely honed skill to be able to execute something deliberately painful and harmful in a way that is meant to deliver love, respect and care. A skill I hope to possess myself one day. I am slowly working my way up to being able to draw bl00d with love. Until then, since my preferred learning style is hands-on, I’ve played the pincushion. For a while I preferred this role. Flying through spaces and places riding a high of my own supply. Now that I have more methods to do that, I find myself less drawn to the extreme (at least as frequently). But I still love to ride someone else’s high and see that look in their eyes as adrenaline rushes in. No - I’m not looking for volunteers. At least right now…🤔
