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I'm stepping into a new phase of maturity in this project of..
🕑 Added 2022-08-25 22:37:42 +0000 UTC I'm stepping into a new phase of maturity in this project of self discovery and sexploration. My humans join me on it, but even with their presence what is becoming louder is it's not about my relationship with them. It's about my relationship with myself. My body. My gender. My fears. My desires. I am able to learn these things through them because it is through those opportunities of reflection that self is seen. It can't be done in a vacuum. I learn more of myself in the unscripted, uncontrolled moments than I do in the ones of quiet reflection and control. Or at least right now I am better at listening in those moments. It is not a journey to find my labels or my niche or people - just myself. But on that ultimately I already know what I will learn. I am nothing. I know this intellectually, but now I chase it experientially. I still get stuck in the idea that I am a collection of accomplishments and failures and kinks and fears and triggers and experiences and relationships and projects and missed opportunities and fights and hangovers and orgasms and outfits and so on... But the truth is, I am only these things as long as I am in them. Slices of time, fractions of reality frozen briefly by memory and perception. As soon as the ingredients shift, so do I. And change happens again. So I am the sum of all and yet none. I am nothing because I am no thing.
