Hey, I know I mentioned feeling not so great earlier in the ..
🕑 Added 2021-08-06 20:55:30 +0000 UTC
Hey, I know I mentioned feeling not so great earlier in the week.. I ignored it and came down with a nasty cold. Thank god its not COVID. I've been resting and will get to some editing later. I'm wearing my glass plug now to keep my hole as elastic as possible. I thought I could make a post about one of my first experiences in a sex toy store.
I was 18 or 19 and with my group of friends, we had just gone out to eat and were driving home on the highway when I convinced my gay bestie that we should stop and buy our other friend a vibrator for her birthday. She was with us but in another car so we arranged for the other car to follow us to the sketchy sex toy store on the side of the highway. She was surprised but agreed as we all knew she had been using her mothers back massager wand for years lol.
I had a complicated relationship with sex at this point in my life. I have always had an extremely high sex drive and my curvy body led me to be sexualized by others at a fairly y0ung age. However I was raised in a religious environment and taught that sex and sexual women were bad, almost sub human and not worthy of respect. I had multiple experiences that reinforced this and I always had such a hard time being comfortable with myself; part of me hated the sexual part of me.
Despite that, I knew my eyes lingered on the anal toys.. I started playing with my ass about when I hit puberty. I have always LOVED anal. My friends giggled at the anal toys and some of them discovered what anal beads were for the first time. But what really captured my attention were the GIGANTIC dildos in the glass case. I noticed them long before my friends.
I was reflecting on this recently because there was a middle aged man in there shopping and I think he saw the way I looked at those huge dildos. I think he saw in my eyes the subconscious hunger I had to use them. My friends giggled and said things like "could that even fit in someone?" and I laughed but I know it wasn't my usual laugh.. I couldn't fully fake it. I was too divided to be Intouch with my sexual needs at the time, too ashamed of what I wanted, I didn't know the full extent of my desires and how it felt to indulge in them. My friends were too engrossed in the experience and novelty of all the toys in the store to notice, but I think that man saw me. I think he saw the size queen slut in me that was hungry to shove that massive dildo in her asshole. I'm so glad I've broken down the wall between the two parts of me, it has poured confidence and joy into all areas of my life. Thank you to all of you supporting me on this journey as I continue to explore the depths of my slutty soul. (I'll be posting an update on the slink vote after this, I'm really craving some depth training)
